Competency VII- Moral, Ethical, and Spiritual Compass
Artifact One: Coming Out, Living Full-Time, and Emerging as a Transgender Student Affairs Professional
During the Fall 2011 semester I was enrolled in the Diversity in Student Affairs (CCSD 567) course. For me it was the single most impactful learning challenge of the entire APU's College Counseling and Student Development graduate program. In the class the cohort was asked to be allies to the LGBTQ community. I was confronted, as I had been repeatedly as an adult, with the facade of the cis-gender male persona that I had struggled to maintain with growing impossibility for years. But this time within the context of this learning environment I kept hearing our text in my head, 'Dare to make people feel uncomfortable, beginning with yourself," (Johnson 2006). I asked myself the impossible, "How can you support others if you cannot support yourself." Then as a man, today a woman; but still the same person who has always refused to compromise her honest interpretations of her personal reality; the results of this intense escalation of the self-inquiry lead to the admission of who it is that I am without the benefit of ever knowing why, but finding the grace of self-acceptance and self-worth within the difficulty dynamics of living as a transsexual within an often prejudiced and bigoted cis-gendered cultural.
I told a small group of my part-time student group and friends at the end of that year. That following academic year in January 2013 I started on hormone therapy, and had begun to inform faculty. That following summer in June I went out publicly for the first time as a woman. The internal tension of my gender dissonance reached an apex of internal pain that eclipsed any consequences that an external world could impose, and my male persona fractured without desire to rebuild. I no longer had any desire to live as a man. Transitioning from male to female was a decision for me to escape my suffocating experience of a being a man. Abandoning that male persona, ending the bitterness of not being born who I felt I should have been; healing the apathy of drifting through a life in which I had become immune to feeling present, and arresting the sense of the constantly growing lack of viability was my choice to live. So many trans* women and men commit suicide. I was not comfortable living anymore without making the effort to be me. I contacted the human resources office at University of the West; and informed them that I would be living full-time as a woman, and presenting myself authentically and exclusively as the gender which I identified with from that point forward .
Coming out was the integration of what I had learned, an unwillingness to be hypocritical and less than authentic, and a realization that I had never been part of a culture that supported my gender difference. I had been listening to members of the cultural norm who had adopted the sanctioned posture of intolerance that who I was as a transwoman was wrong, immoral, and something to be hidden in shame. Coming out is an ethical posture, and it is a blessing of spirit to have the strength to stand differently.
Evans, N. J., Fortney, D. S., Guido, F. M., Patton, L. D., & Renn, K. A. (2010). Student development in college: Theory, research, and practice. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Jeffers, S. (1987). Feel the fear and do it anyway: Dynamic techniques for turning fear, indecision, and anger into power, action, and love. New York, NY: MJF Books.
Johnson, A. G. (2006). Privilege, power, and difference. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Serano, J. (2007). Whipping girl: A transsexual woman on sexism and the scapegoating of femininity. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press
I told a small group of my part-time student group and friends at the end of that year. That following academic year in January 2013 I started on hormone therapy, and had begun to inform faculty. That following summer in June I went out publicly for the first time as a woman. The internal tension of my gender dissonance reached an apex of internal pain that eclipsed any consequences that an external world could impose, and my male persona fractured without desire to rebuild. I no longer had any desire to live as a man. Transitioning from male to female was a decision for me to escape my suffocating experience of a being a man. Abandoning that male persona, ending the bitterness of not being born who I felt I should have been; healing the apathy of drifting through a life in which I had become immune to feeling present, and arresting the sense of the constantly growing lack of viability was my choice to live. So many trans* women and men commit suicide. I was not comfortable living anymore without making the effort to be me. I contacted the human resources office at University of the West; and informed them that I would be living full-time as a woman, and presenting myself authentically and exclusively as the gender which I identified with from that point forward .
Coming out was the integration of what I had learned, an unwillingness to be hypocritical and less than authentic, and a realization that I had never been part of a culture that supported my gender difference. I had been listening to members of the cultural norm who had adopted the sanctioned posture of intolerance that who I was as a transwoman was wrong, immoral, and something to be hidden in shame. Coming out is an ethical posture, and it is a blessing of spirit to have the strength to stand differently.
Evans, N. J., Fortney, D. S., Guido, F. M., Patton, L. D., & Renn, K. A. (2010). Student development in college: Theory, research, and practice. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Jeffers, S. (1987). Feel the fear and do it anyway: Dynamic techniques for turning fear, indecision, and anger into power, action, and love. New York, NY: MJF Books.
Johnson, A. G. (2006). Privilege, power, and difference. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Serano, J. (2007). Whipping girl: A transsexual woman on sexism and the scapegoating of femininity. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press
Artifact Two: Leading as a non-Christian, Transsexual Latina
As a transsexual Latina who I am is always at the forefront of my social justice activities. Again from Johnson, it is our silence that enables the dominant culture to marginalize others; and it is giving protest, and speaking against slander and injustice that ultimately demands that cultural minorities be recognized as a vital part of the larger group or society.
Below is a class presentation on my non-Christian faith, and how it relates to my vocation and serving others spiritually. A presentation on leading as an transsexual Latina is also below. It presents my evolving pragmatic, ethical, and moral views on leadership and change, and now how to best approach a role as a leader after coming out publically and authentically. The last document is the submission of my leadership portfolio for the Administration in College Student Affairs [CCSD 553] class.
Cain, S. (2012). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking. New York: Crown Publishers
Johnson, A. G. (2006). Privilege, power, and difference. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Serano, J. (2007). Whipping girl: A transsexual woman on sexism and the scapegoating of femininity. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press
Below is a class presentation on my non-Christian faith, and how it relates to my vocation and serving others spiritually. A presentation on leading as an transsexual Latina is also below. It presents my evolving pragmatic, ethical, and moral views on leadership and change, and now how to best approach a role as a leader after coming out publically and authentically. The last document is the submission of my leadership portfolio for the Administration in College Student Affairs [CCSD 553] class.
Cain, S. (2012). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking. New York: Crown Publishers
Johnson, A. G. (2006). Privilege, power, and difference. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Serano, J. (2007). Whipping girl: A transsexual woman on sexism and the scapegoating of femininity. Berkeley, CA: Seal Press
Artifact Three: Advocating for Marginalized Groups
Below are two of research papers. One is the qualitative study on transfer students of color. The research project cultured a deeper passion in advocating for underrepresented students of color in higher education. The second is a counseling paper on the dynamics of rape myth, and it role in the perpetuation of violence against women. Because of the violence that approximately 25% of college women will experience before earning their bachelors' degrees, I am particularly sensitive to raising these young female students' awareness of the sexual harassment and sexual assault to which they might be subject.
Both paper contain full and extensive bibliographies at the end of each document, and additional citations are below:
Adams, M., Blumenfeld, W. J., Castaneda. C., Hackman, H. W., Peters, M. L., & Zuniga, X. (Eds.) (2010). Readings for diversity and social justice. New York, NY: Routledge
Reynolds, A. L. (2009). Helping college students: Developing essential support skills for students affairs practice. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass
Both paper contain full and extensive bibliographies at the end of each document, and additional citations are below:
Adams, M., Blumenfeld, W. J., Castaneda. C., Hackman, H. W., Peters, M. L., & Zuniga, X. (Eds.) (2010). Readings for diversity and social justice. New York, NY: Routledge
Reynolds, A. L. (2009). Helping college students: Developing essential support skills for students affairs practice. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass
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